Mom, get out your wallet

I have two tattoos.

I want two tattoos removed.

I blame my mother for both of them, because why should I take responsibility for my own actions as long as I can figure out a way to pin it on someone else?

When I was in my early 20's, before I had any tattoos at all, I decided that I wanted one. But I didn't get one at that time because I thought my mom would freak out if I did. Then one day, guess who called and said she had gotten a tattoo! My mom! It wasn't long after that before I went out and got my first one.

I think I was about 28 years old then. And I'm not going to tell you how many years ago that was, so don't ask. Anyway, that tattoo is on my ankle. I don't mind ankle tattoos at all. I just don't like this one because of what it is. It's Tweety Bird. And a couple of years ago, I received an email that said something about redneck girls having Tweety Bird tattoos. And I am no redneck. So what if I like George Jones. And yes, I used to drive a full size Dodge Ram 1500 pickup with dual exhaust. And I was born and raised in a town where a large percentage of the guys carry a can of Skoal in their back pocket and teenagers go cow-tipping for fun. But I AM NO REDNECK!

Now, for the second tattoo, for which I also blame my mom. She and I were on vacation at the beach, and we decided to get tattoos together. I know what you're thinking, but this is before we got drunk. I'm pretty sure she must have twisted my arm, because I would never be stupid enough on my own to permanently scar my body like that for a second time, now would I? So, now I have a tattoo of a betta fish on the back of my left shoulder. And I HATE shoulder tattoos. If it was on my lower back, I could live with it. And if the tattoo artist had done a better job, it probably wouldn't be quite as bad. But I have actually had a few people ask me what it is. If you have a tattoo, and no one can tell what it is, what's the point? It just looks like a hideous, multi-colored scar.

So, I have checked into getting these things removed, and found that it is much cheaper to mar your body than it is to erase those bad decisions. The first place I called told me that for a mere $650 per treatment, I could be tattoo free. To make matters worse, it would require at least 6-7 treatments! And that's just for one tattoo. So I could easily spend close to $8000 to be rid of these self-induced disfigurements. Granted, the second place was much cheaper at just $150 per treatment. However, they don't use the lidocaine, and when I asked the receptionist if the treatments hurt, she didn't exactly sugarcoat it.

Now, I'm not a huge fan of pain, but I'd be willing to endure a little if it means I will save somewhere in the neighborhood of $6000.

Of course, since both tattoos are my mom's fault, I think it's only fair that she pay for their removal. :)